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Ernie Smith

Ernie Smith

Ernie Smith is the editor of Tedium, and an active internet snarker. Between his many internet side projects, he finds time to hang out with his wife Cat, who's funnier than he is.
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Articles By Year 2025 2024 2023 2022 2021 2020 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 December The Number 2023 The Number 2023 December 30, 2022 The Number 2023 Tedium dives into its eighth anniversary with a look ahead to 2023. We’re still in constant trash fire mode, but at least the trash looks different. In this look-ahead, we’re announcing some important decisions. How Santa Morphs How Santa Morphs December 24, 2022 How Santa Morphs Santa Claus as a figurehead has long represented a control on society, what we should aspire to be. But for someone who is portrayed as an icon of permanence, his image is sure subject to influence. Giving Without Restraint Giving Without Restraint December 14, 2022 Giving Without Restraint It’s near the end of the year once again, which means that it’s time for another list of poorly considered gift ideas from us at Tedium. Consider it our gift to you. Willow’s Second Wind Willow’s Second Wind December 7, 2022 Willow’s Second Wind Why the NES game Willow somehow resonates more than the film that inspired it. It might have been the mindset of the company that made it. Math + The Mechanics Math + The Mechanics December 2, 2022 Math + The Mechanics The story of the Curta Calculator, a stylish portable mechanical calculator that doesn’t use electricity and has a surprisingly dramatic origin story. November A Tale of Two Tablets A Tale of Two Tablets November 30, 2022 A Tale of Two Tablets A year after the JingPad dropped on the market and its parent company immediately disappeared, a new entrant in the Linux tablet game, the Fydetab Duo, aims to do things the right way. Can it succeed? Stuffed With History Stuffed With History November 23, 2022 Stuffed With History Breaking down the 50th anniversary of Stove Top, the foodstuff that changed our relationship with stuffing. There’s a lot of herbs and spices here. Rejection, In Four Parts Rejection, In Four Parts November 19, 2022 Rejection, In Four Parts How rejection shapes the way we think, for good and bad—and if we let it, we take important lessons from it. (Tylenol helps in this process, we hear.) Floppy Copy Classics Floppy Copy Classics November 16, 2022 Floppy Copy Classics A few copy-protection schemes, of varying levels of success, you’ve possibly run into over the years. Don’t lose your code wheel. The Technorati Generation The Technorati Generation November 4, 2022 The Technorati Generation The search engine that kept up at the speed of blogging created a “search war” with Google. But eventually, the speed of blogging just wasn’t fast enough. Keeping You On Your Zs and Qs Keeping You On Your Zs and Qs November 2, 2022 Keeping You On Your Zs and Qs From the standards bodies to the FDA to the airwaves, the weird processes that go into naming prescription drugs—and why so many use relatively obscure letters, like Z and X. October The Social Circle The Social Circle October 28, 2022 The Social Circle The completed purchase of Twitter by Elon Musk reflects a symbolic victory for those who saw its power as a tool of influence, rather than for communication. Slot Wars Slot Wars October 26, 2022 Slot Wars The battle to replace the standard expansion slot in the IBM PC reflected an effort by two sides of the PC world to gain control. Spoiler: The clone-makers won. UHF 2.0 UHF 2.0 October 21, 2022 UHF 2.0 In a world of overwhelming media conglomerates, do regular folks have a shot at building TV for themselves anymore? In one rural Georgia mountain town, the answer is yes. More Thoughts About Dongles More Thoughts About Dongles October 19, 2022 More Thoughts About Dongles In honor of the new terrible dongle that Apple just released, let’s talk about dongles some more—including who came up with the term. Published Via Desktop Published Via Desktop October 12, 2022 Published Via Desktop A list of programs from the all-too-brief golden era of desktop publishing that “didn’t make it.” The GUI’s killer app didn’t slay forever. September Stuck On You Stuck On You September 30, 2022 Stuck On You Discussing my longtime frustration with nonstick cookware and what I learned from a new innovative type of pan, the HexClad. Sell Out With Me, Oh Yeah Sell Out With Me, Oh Yeah September 28, 2022 Sell Out With Me, Oh Yeah Musicians selling out isn’t really that big a deal anymore—except when it’s done really poorly, as in the case of Beck’s odd NFL ad that made Neil Young mad. A Quiet Odyssey A Quiet Odyssey September 24, 2022 A Quiet Odyssey The Magnavox Odyssey², a groundbreaking video game console, never reached the heights of the Atari 2600—but it lived plenty of extra lives. USA Yesterday USA Yesterday September 21, 2022 USA Yesterday Looking back at a sports-themed online service the now-40-year-old USA Today launched way back in 1989. Not all disks were left unscathed. The Execution of All Things The Execution of All Things September 9, 2022 The Execution of All Things A list of executable file formats that didn’t make it. That said, if you want to load up an Adobe AIR application, we can’t stop you. Lord of the Ring Prevention Lord of the Ring Prevention September 7, 2022 Lord of the Ring Prevention The evolution of the drink coaster, which started from not-so-modest roots to become the source of many bizarre patent filings. August Trapped, Kept Trapped, Kept August 31, 2022 Trapped, Kept If a company decides not to do anything with a beloved brand or product, does the public have any recourse? Depends on if the product is physical, honestly. The Hissing of Vintage Tapes The Hissing of Vintage Tapes August 26, 2022 The Hissing of Vintage Tapes The ongoing fight against tape hiss has proven a useful creative tension for the music industry—even if you’re not into lo-fi music recorded on a four-track. The Original “Universal” Port The Original “Universal” Port August 24, 2022 The Original “Universal” Port The Atari 2600’s joystick port had a history that survived for nearly two decades on a variety of systems, from the Sega Master System to the 3DO. Not that cross-compatibility is exactly perfect. This Is My Shocked Face This Is My Shocked Face August 19, 2022 This Is My Shocked Face Discussing power outlets, both very old and in current use, whose charge veers far from the norm. I plug all my devices into EmPower connectors. Camper Van Mainframe Camper Van Mainframe August 12, 2022 Camper Van Mainframe Why the first “portable” computers, produced before integrated circuits, would really stretch the term today. Some portables needed a truck to move. When Newsletters Were Printed When Newsletters Were Printed August 10, 2022 When Newsletters Were Printed What can modern newsletter authors learn about newslettering from an era when people actually mailed these things? A lot, it turns out, according to this book I bought. Who Sets the Prices? Who Sets the Prices? August 5, 2022 Who Sets the Prices? The legal decision that fostered the idea of the manufacturer’s suggested retail price, and why it still sticks around even though that decision was overturned. When Movies Get Canned When Movies Get Canned August 3, 2022 When Movies Get Canned In the wake of the cancellation of the nearly complete Batgirl, a list of films that are generally thought to have been complete but never saw release for some reason. July The Codecs of Streams Past The Codecs of Streams Past July 27, 2022 The Codecs of Streams Past From CD-ROMs to Star Wars trailers to YouTube, the video format technology that got pushed off to the side as standardization crept in. Surf Like A Shark Surf Like A Shark July 22, 2022 Surf Like A Shark That time the company behind the GameShark cheating device came up with a dial-up online service for the Nintendo 64. SharkWire strangely targeted 7-year-olds. From Cable to Local From Cable to Local July 20, 2022 From Cable to Local It’s not common for cable networks to pivot to traditional antenna-driven broadcast networks, but it’s been known to happen—especially if said network can be directly monetized. Longform Brevity Longform Brevity July 13, 2022 Longform Brevity Alt-form storytelling, a key magazine-and-newspaper design trend, hasn’t truly flourished on the modern internet. Axios could go way further than it does. Whipped Cream, No Other Delights Whipped Cream, No Other Delights July 8, 2022 Whipped Cream, No Other Delights How whipped cream, of all things, helped to drive innovation in the food technology space. Henry Ford and the humble soybean had something to do with it. Plot Point Does Not Compute Plot Point Does Not Compute July 1, 2022 Plot Point Does Not Compute On laughably bad uses of computers in mainstream movies and shows, starting with the virus upload in Independence Day. June Life Between Charges Life Between Charges June 29, 2022 Life Between Charges Discussing the evolution of the rechargeable battery, and the flashlight that proved that there was a market for battery-powered devices you plug in. Where The Action Was Where The Action Was June 22, 2022 Where The Action Was A list of social networks that failed to stick around in any real way, except as memories. Some of them were more influential than others. Others scored big paydays. We Value Your Feedback We Value Your Feedback June 17, 2022 We Value Your Feedback How the suggestion box, once a simple tool for giving feedback, played a role in the weirder and darker data-hungry present for many companies. Reflection, In Four Parts Reflection, In Four Parts June 10, 2022 Reflection, In Four Parts Looking through the mirror at mirrors, in the hopes of seeing an interesting reflection, or maybe to figure out that weird mirage thing you see on the highway. Gaming The Charts Gaming The Charts June 8, 2022 Gaming The Charts Pondering the way that gaps in Billboard’s music charts have, for decades, created opportunities for bands and artists to maximize their exposure. All Over the TV Dial All Over the TV Dial June 3, 2022 All Over the TV Dial Like reading about odd broadcasting and television standards? Perfect—this post is for you. We’re starting in Jamaica. The Hard Pivot The Hard Pivot June 1, 2022 The Hard Pivot Considering companies that ended up in a far different place from where they started. You know, like Samsung, Shell, Hasbro, and American Express. May Social Imagineering Social Imagineering May 20, 2022 Social Imagineering Despite what you’ve heard, the word “imagineering” is not unique to Disney. In fact, it’s a phrase that was first used in World War II corporate propaganda. Stumbled Into a Discount Stumbled Into a Discount May 18, 2022 Stumbled Into a Discount Cheap Tickets, one of the first big digital travel companies, has a hell of a corporate history—one with nothing to do with the internet. Disposability Interchange Disposability Interchange May 13, 2022 Disposability Interchange Considering the tension between disposability and interchangeable parts, and how right to repair opponents are trying to have it both ways. Shuffled By the iPod Shuffled By the iPod May 11, 2022 Shuffled By the iPod The iPod is leaving the market, which means that now’s as good a time as any to consider the many audio players it vanquished along the way. Cathode Ray Context Cathode Ray Context May 6, 2022 Cathode Ray Context A few ways cathode ray tubes were used that you might not have been aware of by simply watching the boob tube. Right Track, Wrong Station Right Track, Wrong Station May 4, 2022 Right Track, Wrong Station KarTrak, an innovation originally built for the rail system, was quickly discarded by train operators. But without it, we wouldn’t have modern barcodes. April CNN Plus Innovation CNN Plus Innovation April 22, 2022 CNN Plus Innovation Everyone is ripping on CNN right now for shutting down CNN+ after like three weeks. Let’s remember the network’s long legacy of innovation for a second here. Stirrup Stir-Up Stirrup Stir-Up April 20, 2022 Stirrup Stir-Up How an experimental take on stirrups—a.k.a. the things you put your feet in while riding on a horse—led to a longstanding debate among historians. ❝The Quote Issue❞ ❝The Quote Issue❞ April 15, 2022 ❝The Quote Issue❞ “We use a lot of quotes at Tedium, but we’ve never done an issue of Tedium ABOUT quotations,” Ernie said when writing this piece. “Let’s fix that.” Free As In Internet Free As In Internet April 13, 2022 Free As In Internet In the '80s, a defining online phenomenon—being able to use the internet for free—came from (of all places) Cleveland. Here’s the story of the Free-Net. Net Losses Net Losses April 8, 2022 Net Losses Because we don’t know how to stop doing lists of obscure or forgotten technology, here’s another one on dated networking tech. Apologies in advance. The Central Question The Central Question April 6, 2022 The Central Question What is the difference between centralization and decentralization, and what should you know? I was asked this question recently; here’s my attempt to answer. Low-Hanging Fruit Low-Hanging Fruit April 1, 2022 Low-Hanging Fruit The Razzie Awards made a big mistake this week, and honestly, it makes me question the idea of pop-culture mockery for sport. Perhaps some empathy is necessary. March Utensil Fandom Utensil Fandom March 30, 2022 Utensil Fandom Why do utensils start and end with the knife, fork, and spoon? Let’s highlight a few attempts over the years to create utensils that think outside of the plate. ARMed with Linux ARMed with Linux March 23, 2022 ARMed with Linux The release of the M1-native Asahi Linux is one heck of a feat, isn’t it? It may be the most impressive thing the open-source world has done in some time. Belt, Buckled Belt, Buckled March 18, 2022 Belt, Buckled The legacy of the seat belt, the world’s most prevalent safety device, and the act of corporate goodwill that ensured everyone‘s car got the best design. New Fake Shemp New Fake Shemp March 16, 2022 New Fake Shemp The odd state of affairs that leads film studios to fake an actor so that they can keep shooting. A CGI Jeff Garlin was just added to the Fake Shemp pantheon. Fluorescent Dreams Fluorescent Dreams March 9, 2022 Fluorescent Dreams We don’t talk enough about vaporware over here, so let’s discuss two attempts to make optical discs fluorescent … both of which went absolutely nowhere. Good Luck Opening These Good Luck Opening These March 2, 2022 Good Luck Opening These In the latest entry in our periodic series on failed file formats, we dig into word processor document formats that didn’t make it through to the present day. February Word Up Word Up February 23, 2022 Word Up The evolution of online word games before Wordle made them popular again. You haven’t lived until you’ve played Acrophobia. You Spin Me Right Round, Baby You Spin Me Right Round, Baby February 18, 2022 You Spin Me Right Round, Baby Before hard drives became the main way for us to back up our stuff, they were a key evolution for the business world. They were also huge and costly. Cloud Caper Cloud Caper February 16, 2022 Cloud Caper What I learned about trying to run my own cloud from a few weeks of trying to run the whole dang thing myself. (Hint: I found myself trying multiple solutions.) Heart of Mold Heart of Mold February 9, 2022 Heart of Mold Why we’re obsessed with heart-shaped foods around Valentine’s Day—especially the suddenly ubiquitous heart-shaped pizza. You’re Being Misled You’re Being Misled February 2, 2022 You’re Being Misled Considering the challenges and complications that consumers face with misleading product labeling and design. Those veggie burgers don’t contain enough veggies. January Randomness, in Four Parts Randomness, in Four Parts January 28, 2022 Randomness, in Four Parts Despite the fact that this package is about randomness, it’s actually fairly well structured. But as it turns out, order might be more random than it looks. Sounding Board Sounding Board January 21, 2022 Sounding Board After pissing off half the internet with our list on faded graphics formats, we’re doing the same thing with outdated audio formats. We’re fearing the worst. Surfing Upstream Surfing Upstream January 19, 2022 Surfing Upstream In an era when hundreds of free web browsers exist, Orion Browser has a novel idea: It wants to charge money. Why’s that? Simple: It wants to fix the paradigm. Let's Get Sauced Let's Get Sauced January 14, 2022 Let's Get Sauced Yes, this is an article about ranch dressing. And yes, ranch dressing was invented at Hidden Valley Ranch. Here's some stuff you didn't know about ranch. Lessons in Pivoting Lessons in Pivoting January 12, 2022 Lessons in Pivoting The story of an online education platform that learned something about its own ability to survive during the pandemic.