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Ernie Smith

Ernie Smith

Ernie Smith is the editor of Tedium, and an active internet snarker. Between his many internet side projects, he finds time to hang out with his wife Cat, who's funnier than he is.
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Articles By Year 2025 2024 2023 2022 2021 2020 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 December Hindsight Is 2020 Hindsight Is 2020 December 31, 2019 Hindsight Is 2020 The decade’s over, and Tedium is another year older. Here’s some thoughts on the past, future, and preservation amid our fifth anniversary. Four Things A-Watchin’ Four Things A-Watchin’ December 17, 2019 Four Things A-Watchin’ Tedium starts a holiday series by recommending a bunch of holiday things that might have fallen off your watch lists … if they were ever there. Gifts From People Who Don’t Try Gifts From People Who Don’t Try December 12, 2019 Gifts From People Who Don’t Try It’s that time of year, when Tedium publishes an annual gift guide intended for people your indifferent towards. The goal, of course, is alienation. Tesla For Tots Tesla For Tots December 10, 2019 Tesla For Tots It took a while for Power Wheels to get the right branding, but the tiny motorized cars eventually took the toy aisles by storm—despite recall-worthy flaws. Know Who’s Calling? Know Who’s Calling? December 5, 2019 Know Who’s Calling? Over the past 35 years, our views on privacy and Caller ID technology have totally flipped. The concern used to be about the caller. Now, it’s the recipient. When a Brand Ruins Your Faves When a Brand Ruins Your Faves December 3, 2019 When a Brand Ruins Your Faves For the last couple of months, Facebook has leaned on The Muppets to help salvage its damaged reputation on privacy issues. Hey Facebook, could you please not? November Not Toying Around Not Toying Around November 28, 2019 Not Toying Around What gives hit toys such a strong gravitational pull? Lots of marketing helps, as a hit Netflix series shows, but our own relationship with toys matters most. Paper That You Bake Paper That You Bake November 21, 2019 Paper That You Bake What the heck is parchment paper, where did it come from, and why is it such a prominent baking aid these days? So many questions—here’s my attempt to answer. Write Everything Down Write Everything Down November 12, 2019 Write Everything Down What makes someone obsessively journal every moment of their life? In some cases, it might actually be hypergraphia, a condition tied to a neurological trait. Just The Fax, Ma’am Just The Fax, Ma’am November 7, 2019 Just The Fax, Ma’am Newspapers once saw fax machines as an opportunity to distribute breaking news to the masses—then they saw it as a way to reach the niches. Neither worked out. Internet Synthesis Protocol Internet Synthesis Protocol November 5, 2019 Internet Synthesis Protocol How the professional-minded MIDI format, for an incredibly short but memorable period of time, became the primary way music was shared on the internet. October Lint, Filtered Lint, Filtered October 31, 2019 Lint, Filtered Like lint? This article is for you. Learn why dryers produce lint, and how the lint roller came into existence. It's the lintiest article you'll ever read. Historic Digital Places Historic Digital Places October 17, 2019 Historic Digital Places Corporate motivation isn’t enough when it comes to digital preservation. Here’s a case for creating a National Register of Historic Places for websites. Taboola Before Taboola Taboola Before Taboola October 8, 2019 Taboola Before Taboola Taboola and Outbrain have changed the game for advertising on the internet with ads driven by weird images. This novelty company had the idea first. The Remote Part The Remote Part October 3, 2019 The Remote Part Two years ago, a tiny island in the Atlantic Ocean got its first airport—perhaps the world’s most obscure airport. It was expensive, but can St. Helena thrive? September All Penn, No Teller All Penn, No Teller September 26, 2019 All Penn, No Teller Pondering the success that Penn Jillette, the loud half of Penn & Teller, found as a sometimes-rebellious big-name computer magazine columnist in the ’90s. Doing Things The Wrong Way Doing Things The Wrong Way September 24, 2019 Doing Things The Wrong Way Pondering the way that the creative process is often directed by rules which, in many cases, stifle creativity. Sometimes, you just have to throw the rules out. The Free Ride’s Over The Free Ride’s Over September 12, 2019 The Free Ride’s Over For decades, ad-supported free daily newspapers defined commuting. But the Washington Post Express’ demise shows the model is headed towards the history books. The Wires Barely Reach The Wires Barely Reach September 10, 2019 The Wires Barely Reach It took a while for the internet to turn into a major global force, but it wasn't for lack of trying. (Peter Gabriel deserves at least some of the credit.) Jumping-Off Point Jumping-Off Point September 5, 2019 Jumping-Off Point What the heck is a jumpstation, and why did it fade from internet nomenclature? It’s complicated, but the web’s first search engine is in there somewhere. Innovation Versus Preservation Innovation Versus Preservation September 3, 2019 Innovation Versus Preservation How we keep screwing over yesterday’s technology due to an intent focus on what we’re doing today. The problem of planned obsolescence is getting worse. August Pressure-Fried Patents Pressure-Fried Patents August 29, 2019 Pressure-Fried Patents Pondering the role that patents and trade secrets play in fast food, particularly the ones that helped enable the rise of the fried chicken sandwich wars. Marketing in Ernest Marketing in Ernest August 27, 2019 Marketing in Ernest For two decades, Ernest P. Worrell was basically the perfect regionally franchised TV advertising mascot—and showed Jim Varney’s sheer brilliance. Knowhutimean? Social Reunion Tour Social Reunion Tour August 22, 2019 Social Reunion Tour Thoughts on returning to an old social haunt after half a decade away—and whether you should go back to an old social network you stopped using a few years ago. No Nunchucks No Nunchucks August 20, 2019 No Nunchucks How the quirks of a conservative British censor led one of the most popular cartoons in history to appear in censored form during the height of its success. Rental Self-Own Rental Self-Own August 6, 2019 Rental Self-Own How the music industry let the perfect solution to file-sharing fall through its fingers in the ’80s—or how record rentals bolstered Japan’s music industry. July Is This A Light That Never Goes Out? Is This A Light That Never Goes Out? July 30, 2019 Is This A Light That Never Goes Out? What are the odds that a newfangled LED light bulb will make it past the century mark like a couple lucky incandescent bulbs have? Well, it’s too soon to know. Channel None Channel None July 25, 2019 Channel None For nearly 30 years, many schools aired a daily news show in exchange for free AV equipment. Channel One was a hit—but the ads drove seemingly everyone crazy. Pressing Forward Pressing Forward July 23, 2019 Pressing Forward Mechanical keyboards have become hip again, despite near-complete disinterest in the form by mainstream computer-makers. The little guy is picking up the slack. Driver Disaster Driver Disaster July 16, 2019 Driver Disaster Why USB ports changed the world for the better, or what I learned from a futile month of trying to get a 25-year-old webcam working on a modern PC. The Air of Superiority The Air of Superiority July 9, 2019 The Air of Superiority For more than 100 years, the cool breezes of air conditioning have taken hold around the world. It took us about as long to even consider the side effects. Simulated Fireworks Simulated Fireworks July 4, 2019 Simulated Fireworks How computers have helped to reinvent fireworks displays through timing and elaborate simulation techniques. It’s kinda like a mix of old and new technology. Piggyback Journalism Piggyback Journalism July 2, 2019 Piggyback Journalism The history of the backpack, and why misinformed people seem to assume that they’re for kids. Here’s a story worth keeping in your knapsack. June New Emails, Old Tech New Emails, Old Tech June 25, 2019 New Emails, Old Tech How HTML helped, then hindered, the evolution of email, or why all those fancy marketing emails you get in your inbox still rely on HTML tables in 2019. The Other Windows The Other Windows June 20, 2019 The Other Windows Before Windows became a fact of life for most computer users, a scrappy upstart named GeoWorks tried taking Microsoft on. It failed, but it gave us AOL. Holding Patterns Holding Patterns June 18, 2019 Holding Patterns The unusual state of hold music, which works pretty much the opposite way that every other kind of music does, for reasons both technical and psychological. Upgrade Arbitrage Upgrade Arbitrage June 4, 2019 Upgrade Arbitrage The charm of buying old workstation hardware on the cheap to support your modern computing needs. If it doesn’t work for them, it might just work for you. May Michael Wolff’s Internet Book Empire Michael Wolff’s Internet Book Empire May 28, 2019 Michael Wolff’s Internet Book Empire The Trump administration tell-all scribe has a history with digital publishing that goes way back. In fact, he edited one of the first guides to the internet. Learning At 300 Baud Learning At 300 Baud May 23, 2019 Learning At 300 Baud The story of the world’s first Electronic University, which came to life a lot earlier than you might expect given that moniker. Modems were involved. Total Edutainment Forever Total Edutainment Forever May 9, 2019 Total Edutainment Forever The problem with edutainment in the 1990s was that, while it covered the education, it didn't do enough to entertain the kids. Sorry, Math Blaster. Old Computers, New Inspiration Old Computers, New Inspiration May 7, 2019 Old Computers, New Inspiration Some of the best highlights from the 2019 edition of VCF East, the long-running retro computing event that puts vintage machines in a modern context. Wiki-Fail Wiki-Fail May 2, 2019 Wiki-Fail Looking with fresh eyes at the Wikitorial, the Los Angeles Times’ extremely misguided attempt to bring the wiki concept to the newspaper editorial page. April Enter The Matrox Enter The Matrox April 23, 2019 Enter The Matrox Is there a more misunderstood technology company than Matrox? Let’s ponder the second life of the graphics card maker, long considered a 3D graphics also-ran. Broken Bells Broken Bells April 16, 2019 Broken Bells The evolution of the doorbell, and some spare thoughts inspired by a doorbell malfunction in the middle of the night on a weekend. Our Annoying National Upgrade Our Annoying National Upgrade April 11, 2019 Our Annoying National Upgrade The benefits of digital television conversion were clear, but convincing everyone to upgrade their sets? For the U.S. government, that was the hard part. The Ghosts of Windows 3.1 The Ghosts of Windows 3.1 April 9, 2019 The Ghosts of Windows 3.1 The weird places that Windows 3.1 showed up throughout the ’90s, including a hated CD-i competitor and an unusual update of the Commodore 64. It’s 10 O’Clock Somewhere It’s 10 O’Clock Somewhere April 4, 2019 It’s 10 O’Clock Somewhere Pondering the power of the public service announcement, including one PSA in particular that has maintained an unusual cult following. March The Sound Of Nostalgia The Sound Of Nostalgia March 26, 2019 The Sound Of Nostalgia The iconic tones of the Sega Genesis have proven tough to recreate in the modern day—but the Analogue Mega Sg might be the solution for that. Here’s our review. Let’s Break Up Adobe Let’s Break Up Adobe March 12, 2019 Let’s Break Up Adobe Why the creative software giant Adobe deserves a place in the broader discussion of breaking up tech giants like Facebook and Google. It's not just Photoshop. The Internet of Food The Internet of Food March 7, 2019 The Internet of Food Online food delivery was probably secretly essential to the internet’s success, but it took a while for us to get a food option as good as Grubhub. The Golden Comedo The Golden Comedo March 5, 2019 The Golden Comedo Why acne medication, from Clearasil to Oxy Pads to Proactiv, is pure marketing gold, and has been for generations of blemished faces. Just ask Dick Clark. February A Kernel Of Failure A Kernel Of Failure February 28, 2019 A Kernel Of Failure How IBM bet big on the microkernel being the next big thing in operating systems back in the ’90s—and spent billions with little to show for it. Sent From My $10 Mac Sent From My $10 Mac February 19, 2019 Sent From My $10 Mac Pondering the lessons on user experience to be gained from using a 14-year-old Mac Mini as a daily driver. Can it be done, honestly? I Hack Because I Love I Hack Because I Love February 12, 2019 I Hack Because I Love The Hackintosh has become a phenomenon in recent years, despite knotty ethical questions, because Apple’s neglected superfans won’t stop thinking different. In Total Control In Total Control February 7, 2019 In Total Control From the arcades to the living room, how the controller has evolved—and why one tech historian, Benj Edwards, started building his own. Songs In The Key Of Baby Songs In The Key Of Baby February 5, 2019 Songs In The Key Of Baby Pondering the unusual association serious electronic composers had with children’s music in the 1960s—especially Raymond Scott. January The Platform Microsoft Forgot The Platform Microsoft Forgot January 29, 2019 The Platform Microsoft Forgot The MSX computer standard was big in both Japan and Brazil. But despite a sizable cult, it may be the most obscure part of Microsoft’s history. Here’s why. Having Fun On Stage Having Fun On Stage January 22, 2019 Having Fun On Stage Pondering why, despite the fact that bands and musicians have to do it every single night, many suck at stage banter—particularly, but not limited to, Elvis. Mean, Green Marketing Machine Mean, Green Marketing Machine January 15, 2019 Mean, Green Marketing Machine During the early 1950s, you could not get away from chlorophyll at the grocery store—all thanks to a thinly sourced belief that the plant pigment fought odors. Make Every Piece Count Make Every Piece Count January 10, 2019 Make Every Piece Count For years, the beef industry has leaned on universities to discover new cuts of steak. Don't laugh: Meat science is behind at least one breakout hit. Public Domain Disney Public Domain Disney January 3, 2019 Public Domain Disney Disney is no friend of the public domain, but in honor of the public domain finally expanding, we wanted to appreciate Walt Disney’s contributions to it. Blogging Bandwagon Jumpers Blogging Bandwagon Jumpers January 2, 2019 Blogging Bandwagon Jumpers Are you starting a blog in 2019? Here's a list of some sites that I know are getting off the ground this year. Have one of your own? Let us know. Let’s Save Blogging Let’s Save Blogging January 1, 2019 Let’s Save Blogging The independent blog has been in decline for years. It doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s why you should start a blog in 2019—and host it yourself.