Frost On The Pumpkins

Hey all, Ernie here with a fresh one from David Buck, who has been quite busy behind the scenes with Tedium. I would like to inform you that he’s been working overtime on Halloween content this week, including an entire playlist of videos and the piece below:

EC comics are the best comics for the Halloween season

If you’re a fan of Tedium, there’s a good possibility that you are also either a fan of Tales from the Crypt (and the Creepy Cryptkeeper, too, of course) or are at least aware of it in some way. The show was great and kind of freaky as far as horror anthologies go.

I don’t remember many stories offhand, but I do vividly recall one where a bunch of vampires happened to be hanging out at a bar, when they grabbed a random dude in a suit, and stuck a spigot in his neck, presumably to dispense blood into beer mugs. The TV show and what little I read of the comics (such comics were forbidden by my parents) were fun, if a bit grisly.

Tales from the Crypt (although it wasn’t called that until issue #20) was created by Bill Gaines (who’d later found my favorite humor magazine, MAD) and Al Feldstein (who edited MAD for a long time). It ran from 1950-1955 and brought the world plenty of crazy horror stories we recognize as classics today. It also developed the recognizable character of The Cryptkeeper, who was a lot more somber and sinister in his early appearances (the humor and puns would eventually become a thing, though).

But Gaines had a tendency to develop many EC comics stories from existing horror tales or films. In one case, Ray Bradbury pointed out blatant plagiarism in one of their tales, at which point they adapted one of his stories. Scary stories aside, it was EC horror comics like Tales from the Crypt (specifically, the excessive gore) that indirectly led to the Comics Code Authority practically nuking a lot of early comics and causing several companies to go under at the time. (Learn more about it by listening to this recent episode of Ken Jennings and John Roderick’s Omnibus.)

So where does one get started with checking out ancient horror comics today?

You can start with the EC Archives volumes. They are available digitally (library apps like Hoopla are great for this) if you’re into that sort of thing, but to get the true experience, you know you want to grab a copy you can hold in your hands, right? From there, it’s just a matter of finding the comics you like best and researching similar titles.

There’s something for everyone in the world of comics, whether it’s Batman, the Cryptkeeper, or even a Goosebumps graphic novel. Yes, they exist. But you should probably stay out of the basement anyway …

Time for a Wolfman Howl-a-long

If sound effects and horror anthologies aren’t your thing, perhaps you’d be interested in something involving werewolves? Werewolves are kind of weird. Half-man, half-beast, but always ferocious. Remember that awful Doctor Who episode where a werewolf came from outer space and The Doctor “drowned” it with excessive moonlight? Yeah; that was a thing.

According to Dr. Emily Zarka (of PBS Monstrum fame), there are numerous origin stories for the beasts. Wolves are everywhere, live in families, hunt in packs, and have some very human-like behaviors. Myths played into that, and werewolf legends grew.

These stories classify werewolves as either victims of a curse or wolf bite, damned souls who are being punished for violence in life, and warriors, where humans take on the guise of the wolf to help survive a battle. The Epic of Gilgamesh has a victim story. Greek myths often feature damned werewolves, with some pretty wild stories about the beasts. The idea of the warrior werewolf shows up in the concept of the Berserkers, who took on the skin and attributes of an animal to help them in battle. But we’re here to talk about werewolves in a completely unexpected part of pop culture: music.

Songs about werewolves are kind of a silver bullet for us (sorry). Plus, we did one of these music lists last time, but now we’re just narrowing the focus a bit.

Here’s a list of our five favorites, in no particular order:

5. “Werewolves of London,” Warren Zevon: Warren Zevon always sounds like he’s just a little pissed off, but in “Werewolves of London,” he seems to actually be having a bit of fun. It’s probably the best Halloween song ever. Fight me. Although the title was suggested by Phil Everly of The Everly Brothers. Phil adored late night horror films, particularly a film called Werewolf of London.

Warren’s songwriting partner Roy Marinell set it to music and he, Warren, and guitarist Waddy Wachtel all wrote a verse. Warren’s is the one that goes, “a little old lady got mutilated late last night.” The song was a hit and has been a staple of the spooky season ever since. When Warren performed the song live, he would often change the name of the city to match where he was currently performing. Not bad for a spontaneous writing session based around an old horror film.

4. “Werewolf,” The Five Man Electrical Band: Remember that hit song from the 70s that goes “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign?” Well, I do. The Five Man Electrical Band had a hit with it in 1971, but it’s one of their other songs that will truly send chills down your spine. The gradually unfolding, bluesy-yet-mellow song follows the story of a boy named Billy. His family suspects something isn’t right with the young lad.

Mama discovers Billy didn’t sleep in his bed. Papa thinks he’s just sowing his wild oats. Mama insists. Billy’s a werewolf, and he’s been killing sheep and screaming at the moonlight. Eventually papa takes matters into his own hands and… you just have to hear it yourself, killer slide solo and all. It’s a Halloween horror film for your ears, and it clocks out at less than four minutes long.

3. “Bark at the Moon,” Ozzy Osbourne: As a guitar playing, music loving teenager, I had two albums I listened to non-stop during my sophomore year of high school: Ozzy Osbourne’s Diary of a Madman and Bark at the Moon. These incredible records caught my imagination, and I’ve been a fan ever since. “Bark at the Moon” is a wild story, almost a gothic horror novel in audio form. Powerful vocals and tasty guitar work take the tale of a mad scientist who becomes a werewolf from stale tropes to heavy metal magic. The music video is a trip, too, and it’s one of the many songs that made the late, great Ozzy Osbourne a legend.

2. “I Was a Teenage Werewolf,” The Cramps: I first learned about The Cramps from a book I found in my college library. I’ve long since forgotten the name of that time, but my memory of the band will never die. They’re like punk rock mixed with B-movies, with a dash of novelty on the side. Heck, they basically invented the Psychobilly genre.

This tune shares a name with a 1957 horror flick, but dials the craziness up to eleven. The killer riff, wild lyrics, and Lux Interior’s eccentric, almost growling vocals make this an essential (if a little insane) Halloween hit.

1. “Werewolf (Instrumental),” The Frantics: It just wouldn’t be Tedium if we didn’t include A). An instrumental song, B). An obscure song, and C). A tune that consistently played on The Dr. Demento Show. This record from Seattle-based The Frantics hits all three. But it’s much more than that. This 1959 Halloween track is a slice of surf rock madness. It starts with a voice-over: “Even a man whose heart is pure, and says his prayers at night, may change to a wolf when the wolf-bane blooms, the full moon shining bright!” and descends into creepy, spine tingling chaos, punctuated with plenty of howling. It even has a b-side called “No Werewolf,” which ditches the howling and intro. But where’s the fun in that?

Four Spooktacular NES games to play this Halloween

If there’s one thing we love more than Halloween, it’s a good list. Also, retro games. Hey! Here’s both at once. Two entries on this list originally appeared on Nerdvana Media in 2017, although I’ve extensively re-written them here. Without further ado, here’s the list:

Uninvited: This game, from its label to its ending, is creepy AF, as the kids say. It’s got a skeleton lady in a hat and blue dress reaching out to you. Terrifying. Uninvited is a point-and-click adventure game. The original arrived in 1986 on Macintosh computers, with an MS-DOS and NES port in 1987 and 1991 respectively. The game features you waking up in a scary situation: the driver’s seat of a wrecked car. Your sister is missing. Luckily, there’s a spooky mansion nearby. From the second you exit the vehicle to the final encounter, the tense music, surreal visuals, and spooky atmosphere will send chills down the spine of even the most hardened of players.

Monster in My Pocket: What can I say about Monster in My Pocket, other than that it’s fun, engaging, and has some killer background music (which was appropriated by BTS a few years back, believe it or not). You play as either Frankenstein’s Monster or Dracula as they battle various members of the Monster in My Pocket toy line through macro stages. It has some nice atmosphere, a few creepy scenes, and a buttload of monsters. And, hey, this was Pocket Monsters years before Pokémon came on the scene. So that’s pretty cool.

This Gaming Historian video helps explain why the game is so strange. And it’s not quite what you think.

Monster Party: Now, this one’s just plain bizarre. You play as a kid with a baseball bat who gets recruited by some winged alien named Bert. Then you go around fighting a mix of B-movie monsters and creepy crawlies, all while traveling along a very detailed (and grisly) area. Blood drips from things quite a bit. Expect to fight evil Tempura shrimp, Giant Man-eating plants, eyeball creatures and more in this slice of NES terror and madness.

Shadowgate: Yup. It’s another MacVenture game from Kemco-Seika. Shadowgate was a point-and-click, adventure game in the MacVenture series. Originally in black & white, the adventure game featured all the classic sword & sorcery tropes. Evil warlock? Check. Dank castle environment with bizarre puzzles? Double check. Dragon in a dungeon of some sort? Yeah, this game has one. The game was ported to several other home systems over time, but none stands out to us as much as the NES port, which had its own hint book and everything. Spooky fun, an actual werewolf, some Sphinxy riddles, and a crazy troll make this a must-play. A re-made version of the sequel, Beyond Shadowgate, arrived a few years ago and is a fantastic follow-up to this Halloween classic. Or you could play my Shadowgate-inspired browser game, Mystic Brew, for a change of pace.

Honorable mentions:Monster in My Pocket, Gargoyle’s Quest, Castlevania 1, 2, & 3, Haunted Halloween ‘85, Ghoul Grind, New Ghostbusters 2, Werewolf: The Last Warrior, and Déjà vu. Sorry if we didn’t list your favorite one here, but feel free to reach out and tell us about it!