Role Played

There was a long period of my life where I didn’t really play more modern games. I kind of stopped during my late high-school/early college years, only to gradually pick the hobby up again within the last five years or so.

For a while, I had convinced myself that retro games were the only games worth my time. My cutoff was roughly early PlayStation era, with Breath of Fire 3 and Shenmue being the last games I really got into before I moved away from games entirely for a while. (Recently tried playing Shenmue, one of the few 3D games I liked, once again; was surprised at how poorly it held up!)

Part of the reason I stepped away was essentially an issue I had with 3D gaming, which I plan to discuss more in-depth in another piece. I collected old consoles, with a sweet spot in the NES and Super NES eras. But new games? Those are bad!

I think when you get older, you tend to get stuck in your ways like this. You set up these cultural parameters for what you’re willing to enjoy, and you miss out on a lot of good stuff because of these walls you’ve created.

(The one game I gave a chance during this era was probably the original, free version of Cave Story, a Metroidvania-style classic that remains a favorite.)

Getting Away From The Oldies Circuit

When I was growing up, I remembered vividly how my dad only listened to oldies music, as far as I knew. But then one day in the early ’90s, at a time when it would have been relatively current, I spotted a Spin Doctors cassette in his car. And in that moment, it made me realize that maybe I had underestimated his ability to enjoy new things. I don’t think I saw him get into much modern music besides that, but I appreciated knowing that he also enjoyed “Jimmy Olsen’s Blues” on top of his love of The Beatles.

I’m older now than he was when he had his Spin Doctors reawakening, but I think a similar philosophy is inspiring my later-in-life gaming interest. Essentially, I went from the Super NES to Steam—and I’m OK with how wide a leap that was. Maybe one of these days I might have to revisit the PS2 or Wii, but I didn’t grow up with those consoles. Instead, I’m kind of playing catch-up for the decades of games that I missed while I was posting 25 times a day on Tumblr in 2011.

I was a day-one buyer of Silksong, the world’s hardest video game, and I’ve gotten into beloved casual-ish games like Dave the Diver and Balatro over the last couple of years. I got most of the secrets in Animal Well. And I’m pretty sure I put in 60 hours on Chained Echoes a few years back, just like I had on Hollow Knight.

The manga-like Artis Impact is probably the best game I’ve played this year. Just wish it was a few hours longer.

I think my current sweet spot is 16-bit-style RPGs. I have found titles like Ocean’s Heart, Eastward, and the recent Artis Impact to live up to the games I hold in super-high regard. (What can I say? I grew up with that kind of stuff!)

Gradually, I’m starting to realize, in a world where chaos tends to overwhelm all too easily, getting lost in someone else’s story is an essential reprieve. Whereas I might have found that in blogging or writing, I now find it in getting lost in a game made by someone whose skill set is really storytelling and presentation, not high-end coding. (Though a well-coded game is always a plus!)

This game repeated over and over and yet I kept playing. Worth it.

Last year, I remember being bedeviled by the intentionally repetitive, mostly black-and-white time-based RPG In Stars and Time. The story, in its many shades, was ultimately what kept me coming back.

I think what attracts me to these games, beyond their style, is the fact that they’re often the products of very small teams. Animal Well, In Stars and Time, and Artis Impact are each works of solo developers. These developers are sticking their necks out in ways that the development crews of your favorite Super NES games never had to. So even if the games visually remind you of titles you played 30 years ago, they’re actually titles whose beating heart under the hood is completely different. They’re compelling as games, but also as works of art in their own right.

That was the part I was missing with my rigid stance against modern games—the fact that the result doesn’t have to feel hollow and soul-crushing like the MMORPG at the center of Mythic Quest.

Instead, you’re seeing an individual’s vision. I think there’s a reason why Cave Story caught my attention 20 years ago just as Artis Impact did more recently. I think in both cases you’re seeing the work of an artisan, not an anonysmous team trying to make a buck.

There’s no reason your tastes have to stay rigid. Just because you felt one way when you were 19 doesn’t mean you will always feel that way.

Cycling Back To Forgotten Hobbies

My renewed interest in gaming I think points back to a truism of culture: If you love something, you always cycle back.

Recently, I played guitar for the first time in a few years. I used to play a lot, and had written a whole album of songs. But I let it fall by the wayside in favor of blogging.

It was at the behest of a friend who really wanted to jam, but I was out of practice. Despite that (and my completely uncalloused fingers) I remembered a lot more than I thought I would. My ability to play a strong barre chord across an acoustic guitar? Still there.

I think as one gets older, they fade in and out of things that they really loved at earlier times in their life. That I’m suddenly a gamer once again after putting that hobby largely on the shelf for 20 years feels like a reminder that despite the curmudgeonly nature that comes out during middle age, you still have room to surprise yourself.

Maybe one of these days the guitar will come back out full time, just like gaming has. Maybe it’s the internet that takes a backseat. After all, have you seen the place lately?