We'll listen to strange or boring tunes. Your weird avant-garde Christian rap album may struggle to gain any traction on Spotify, but weird stuff is the kind of stuff that we're looking for. We'd be interested in sharing your stuff with our audience—and if you consider Metal Machine Music a direct influence on your sound or Daniel Johnston is shaking the maracas on track 11, please mark the importance as high.
Book excerpts are welcome. You've spent a year of your life researching the growth patterns of the snail, and for some reason unknown to you, the book isn't selling. If this describes your life, we're sorry to hear that—and we'd like to help by publishing an excerpt of the book in a future issue of Tedium. Weird books make great newsletters, and we'd love to help you out.
We'll give flop flicks a second life. Tommy Wiseau laughed at your movie—and not in that fun, unplaceable-accent, Tommy Wiseau way. He actually disliked it and chose not to distribute it—and he was your last hope for building up your reach. Or so you thought! Send us your movie about the Manic Pixie Dream Girl getting her revenge on male directors everywhere.
Unusual devices—no, not that kind of unusual. Kickstarter hated your plan to create a ladle with a built-in smartphone. All that work you put in 3D printing your smartphone ladle feels like it was a total waste, but it's not—because we can talk about it and tell people that it's just strange enough to work.
If you've got an idea like this, or something even stranger—or, perhaps, something even less strange, but interesting—tell us all about it. Our email address is here. (Please note: Only contacts related to Tedium will be responded to.) Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya.