Tedious Stuff

Let's Talk About Forks, Baby

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Utensils are the great equalizer. "I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks, and it was way too literal for me," late philosopher and one-liner king Mitch Hedberg apparently once said. It may be the deepest thing ever said about forks.

That's because we generally don't talk about forks very often, or utensils in general, really.

That's despite their extreme prevalence. Everyone has to use a utensil at some point in their lives, whether they're sporks, forks, spoons, or chopsticks. (Unless you're Puck from The Real World season 3; he got away with eating peanut butter with his hands, because of course he did.)

Perhaps you would think about your utensils more if they were incredibly weird. In that spirit, here are a few utensils you probably hadn't considered eating with until now:

Three Unusual Utensils

  • electronic twisting fork Let's Twist Again: If you find the work of twisting your fork around a bunch of noodles tiring, this electronic fork does the dirty work for you. It's the fork for the fork user who has everything.
  • Pulled Pork Shredder Solid Bear Claws For messy people: Are those pulled-pork-shredding bear claws on your firsts, or are you just not happy to see me? As Alton Brown said in a Daily Dot video, "These things are not meat-shredders; these things are a lifestyle."
  • Utensil Wall Décor Size counts: These may look like perfectly normal utensils, but if you tried to buy them, you would feel sticker shock by the price ($63 for a single set) and more importantly, the size. These things, designed as wall decor, are nearly 3 feet tall.

And if you're actually hoping to ponder this topic some more, author Bee Wilson's 2013 tome Consider the Fork: A History of How We Cook and Eat is sure to get you some weird looks as you read along at your local Starbucks.

Ernie Smith
Your time was just wasted by Ernie Smith

Ernie Smith is the editor of Tedium, and an active internet snarker. Between his many internet side projects, he finds time to hang out with his wife Cat, who's funnier than he is.